Canada Moms Blog

To Vaccinate, Or Not To Vaccinate

My husband and I don't have a problem with vaccinations in general. We took all three of our kids to get their "shots" (FOUR needles each time, here in B.C.) without any qualms. The crying and occasional fussiness was a pain (pun intended) at times, but we felt that it was a better alternative to them catching serious illnesses that could cost them their lives.

When it comes to the flu shot, however, we have never had our children vaccinated. Nor have we had ourselves vaccinated. We just haven't had any reason to, really. We know far too many people who have gotten the flu vaccine, only to end up catching a strain of the flu that apparently wasn't part of the vaccine. We also can't see the need to inject ourselves our children with the flu if we might not even catch it. Most years, we haven't gotten anything worse than a bad cold.

I am not saying that this choice is for everybody. There are people with weakened immune systems or people that work in environments that they are required to get the flu vaccine. Or, they just feel they need to get it. I am not crusading against the flu vaccine; it is just the decision that we have made for our family at this time.

This year, the topic has come up in our house because of the H1N1 virus (or "Swine flu"). We know a few people who have had it and they can attest to how horrible it really is. One elderly person in our community died from it last week.

The Vancouver Sun has an article that outlines when the vaccines for the regular flu and the H1N1 virus will be available. Health officials have found that people who receive the regular flu vaccine first are more susceptible to the H1N1 virus. So, you can get the H1N1 in November and the regular flu shot in 2010.

My husband talked to our family doctor (who is also a family friend) about it all. He stated that they expect that 30% of the population will come down with the H1N1 virus. Which, well, are pretty high odds. He also told us that the instant anyone has flu symptoms, they will be given Tamaflu to fight the infection.

We're pretty sure that we'll still opt out of the vaccine. Probably. We'll see what actually happens come November.

Original post to Canada Moms Blog.

The September Rush

What is it with the first few weeks of September? You go from the lazy, hazy days of summer and are then smacked upside the head with so many obligations that you don't even know where to begin.

There is the first day of school (and preschool, in our house). There is that plethora of other obligations that all decide they must start in the first two weeks of September. PAC meetings, dance classes and so forth. If you are a member of a church (as we are) there are even more meetings. Small group, Boys' club, random conferences.

ALL IN THE FIRST FEW WEEKS OF SEPTEMBER.

Sorry for shouting, but it's getting to be a little bit ridiculous. People want you to be connected, involved, engaged. Which means that you need to spend every single evening at this event or that function or this one particular meeting.

We've been feeling the heat a little, as we do every year.

To help keep the roar as dull as it can be, we've been practicing saying, "No." Small group can wait until October. Swimming lessons need not begin until October either. Or possibly, January.

There are five human beings in our house who need to live as peacefully as possible while living five (joint, and) separate lives. Life isn't a race; we don't need to start everything at the same time, only to see some of the things that we truly love trip and fall and die on the side of the road.

For now we will do what absolutely needs to be done in September. The other things will be added in slowly as the time allows. Which may actually turn out to be never.

You know what? I'm totally OK with that.

Original post to Canada Moms Blog.

First Day Back at School Ain't What it Used to be

Or is it just me.

I remember from Grade One on (no Kindergarten in the UK), we did an hour or so the first day and then BLAM it was right into full days and that was it.

There was no 'Gradual Entry' for the 5 year olds.  There was no 'wait till we see how many students we have' to set up classrooms.

I keep wondering why schools seem to have a harder time with setting up classrooms now than they did when I was kid!?

What has changed.  Kids come and go.  New students show up.  Old students leave.  Budgets had to be met back then too right?

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

I have three small children, the oldest of whom will be seven in December. All of the kids have seen photos of me while pregnant with them and know that at one point they were "in Mommy's tummy." When they've asked how they actually got into my "tummy", my husband and I have told them that God created them special, just for us. That story has always worked.

Until last week.

My eldest child, a son, sat down next to me and mentioned that at one point he had been in my "tummy." He asked how he got there and I said that God had created him and he then said, "Yeah, but HOW EXACTLY? I said to him, "Can this wait until you're 16?" Him, "No. Tell me now. I need to know."

I managed to stammer and stall and distract him with something shiny.

I put the call out to friends of mine and had a wide array of responses.

"I've told my kids that daddies put a special seed into mommies special egg and then it grows into a baby in mommy's tummy...so far they haven't asked how the seed gets there!"

"Right now you could tell him that a baby is made when a mom and dad love each other. If he asks for more specifics, then you can answer those."

"I always go with the Special Hug..."

Healthcare from a Socialists Perspective

The ladies over at Silicon Valley Moms Blog came up with the idea that all the sites could blog about THEIR views on the current Health Care issues in the US.   Us Canadians have opinions too!  Here is mine.

I was born and spent my childhood in the UK.  Edinburgh, Scotland to be precise.

The National Health Service (NHS) was just the way it was for a child like me.   I didn't  think about it, and I don't think my parents did either.

Looking back (this was the 70's) I am sure some of the "service" would look frightening to more modern outsiders like the US.  Many hospitals appeared grim due to their Victorian and Edwardian age.  6 to 12 person wards were the norm.

But that has more to do with history than the service.

Do Kids Need An Allowance?

Last week, my eldest son decided that he needed to earn money in order to buy a lizard (long story) so he opened a "toy store." He set up shop in our backyard with many of his favorite toys and even labeled some of them with price tags pilfered from recent purchases we had made.

We live out in the sticks which means that there were absolutely no customers to be seen. He was a little disappointed about his lack of business but he knows full well how few people come by (unless invited over). I told him that one I returned from my trip to Chicago we would see about maybe instituting an allowance.

I wrote a post on my personal site asking for feedback on the whole allowance topic. As young children, my husband and I never received an allowance. All of our needs were met and our parents were good at saying yes when they needs to...and saying no when they needed to. When I was a teenager, my Mom let me have the $50 per month child support payment that my Dad had to pay for me (He got off easy, I know).

My Doctor Fantasy - It's Not What you Think

I am Canadian, so I feel I should hesitate before I complain about our health care system.  It is public health care, which means everyone has access to it and if you chop off your hand with a chainsaw, you will get treatment whether or not you have enough money to pay for the surgery. I have heard and read about the health care systems in other parts of the world and they scare me and I am desperately glad that our system is as good as it is.  This does not stop me from wishing it was better.

Maybe you chopped off your hand with a chainsaw because you were drunk.  Maybe it was an honest-to-goodness accident.  Or maybe you chopped your hand off with a chainsaw because you were having dizzy spells and headaches due to an undiagnosed condition - undiagnosed because you were on a 6 month waiting list for tests, or because your doctor half-listened to your description of symptoms and wrote you a prescription for an extra strength pain killer.

You still get the same treatment.  You still get your hand re-attached, your blood re-filled, your hospital bed, your jellied dessert.  But my frustration with our system is this: there is so little focus on
prevention. We are in a constant state of crisis, of triage, of stop the bleeding.  And there are amazing specialists doing fantastic work in this country.  But the family doctor, the general practitioner, is almost impossible to find.

This is on my mind because I have in my hands a referral - worth its weight in gold - for a new family doctor.  I left my old childhood doctor 15 years ago. Since then I have mainly gone to walk-in clinics, with the exception of my two pregnancies, where I saw maternity doctors.  Why?  Because there are, on an average day, three family doctors taking new patients within a 30 km radius of my house and you can bet that they have something wrong with them.  I have seen several over the years. 

One was awesome - but 72 years old and retired after three visits, leaving no replacement and no referrals.

One prescribed birth control pills and Botox for just about every ailment.

Two never called me back.

One screened us, asked if we were "healthy," took a week to decide that yes, he would take us on, as we had no chronic conditions or addictions and then let me know that actually he didn't do immunizations (the only reason I'd bothered to look for a doctor; silly me, I didn't know about Public Health) so I could just take my 8 week old baby back home with me.

Our current family doctor took us on after my second son was born. She didn't want to, but I had a referral from my maternity doctor.

She is not a very good doctor.  She is dismissive, disorganized and often uninformed.  She gave my 6 month old a sticker to distract him while she administered his vaccination. (I then had to pry it out of his throat while she jabbed the needle in.) She sent my husband on a wild goose chase for a blood test when what he needed was a cheek swab that she could have done in her office.  By the time he got back to her office, she had left for the day, so he went to a walk-in clinic.  When I asked her about having an IUD inserted, she told me that an IUD wasn't what I wanted and that anyway, they are not very effective.

Lady. I didn't ask your opinion.  I know how effective IUDs are and I know that a family doctor can put one in. Not that I would want you to because you would probably put it in my liver by mistake.

For all of the above reasons, and many more, I am reluctant to go see my doctor.  If that means I sit around stewing about something for days and then end up at the walk-in clinic because my snot is orange (true story - sinus infection!) so be it.  I would rather wait and see than deal with someone who may or may not know what she is talking about.

I have become used to this approach over the years, since family doctors are so hard to find. I have been lucky enough to not need a doctor until now.  But my kids are in the picture now and I want there to be someone in our lives, be it doctor or nurse practitioner or naturopath, who can look at them and say, yes, that's a weird rash or hmm, let's get that strange bump checked out or even, hey, you grew three inches since last year, way to go.

I don't look to a doctor to reassure me that my kids are normal.  I don't want one to go to every month just to see what's up.  But when I do need a doctor, I want that doctor  to be someone who wants to be there, who cares about people, who is not stupider than me, who is at least as up to date on birth control as I am.

Here is my vision of health care. It is doctor-focused here, but I would happily see a nurse practitioner if there were any. 

First, medical school should be accessible and affordable. People who want to be doctors should be able to be doctors.  That way, we end up with doctors who want to be doctors, not doctors who want to be rich / famous / just like X relative who was a doctor.

Second, residency should not break anyone's relationship or spirit. Doctors need families.  They need support. They need to be treated as human beings if they are to treat other human beings.

Third, general practice should pay well.  Doctors should be able to maintain a practice and a private life and make a living. 

If people go in to medicine in order to help people, if family doctors can make enough money to live comfortably and not have to sacrifice everything, money and soul, to be physicians, then I truly believe there would be enough general practitioners to go around.  Everyone would have a doctor she trusts.  Everyone would have an annual check up. Everyone would know what "normal" was for her, so that when something was abnormal, she would recognize it. Her doctor could say, "Hey, you haven't had headaches like this before.  Better not operate any chainsaws for a while, at least until we can run some tests."

That frees up a bed in Emergency. And it also frees up my current doctor to go back to school and figure out what she really wants to do with her life. Cattle hand, perhaps?  Or electrician? I think I'll give her a list of suggestions at my last visit.

Original post for the Canada Moms Blog.  Clara blogs here and tweets here and really is grateful for socialized medicine.

How To Survive A Road Trip With Small Children

Do you remember how in my last post I was rambling on about how we planned on only partaking in "staycations" while my kids are young? Reality came knocking.

While we are still adamant that we will not be boarding an airplane (or going to Disneyland) for at least another two years, we do partake in the occasional road trip. My husband's family (and a lot of mine) live in the suburbs of Vancouver. We're in the Okanagan, which is a mere three to four hour drive, depending on how close we want to get to the belly of the beast (Downtown).

We usually head down at Christmas, as well as a few other times during the year. We stop in Merritt (aka the armpit of BC) to stretch our legs, make a pee stop and get some snacks, and then finish the rest of our drive.

Last week there was a bit of an anomaly in our lives. My StepMom came to visit and then took all three of our kids back to the Sunshine Coast with her. This has never happened to us before. My husband and I were left floundering, feeling all out of sorts in a big house with no kids. We made the best of it, however. Dinner out every night! We'd have hung out sans clothing but my brother lives with us, so...

Is Mom ALWAYS #1?

In our house it seems so.

This despite the fact that my husband has worked from home for almost their entire lives.

He does EVERYTHING that I do with them.   Well, almost..but you get the idea.

So we both figure that if I go upstairs to attempt a nap, the kids will be able to figure out to ask dad for whatever their need of the moment is.

Not so.

Yesterday, as I tried to cat nap, I could sense a presence behind me.  I could hear it breathing.

I tried to ignore the sighs and shuffling sounds...but I could see the presence would not be ignored.

The Real Reason For A Staycation

The term "Staycation" is something you hear on the Internet/In magazine articles/on the TV. What with the economy and the lack of extra funds for many people, everyone is encouraged to stick close to home and go on a Staycation. This means that you forgo a trip to a distant destination in favor of taking in local events.

I get this. It is a good idea, no doubt.

For us, the Staycation stems more from an emotional inability that from a financial inability.

The thought of dragging three kids six and under to some distant destination with no sense of routine and THE POSSIBILITY OF NO GOLDFISH and possibly NO PEANUT BUTTER AND HONEY SANDWICHES sounds like crazy talk to me. My kids are young, yes, but they also like routine. Part of it is inherent and part of it is inflicted upon them (by me). Regardless of the source, my kids do not fare well when out of their natural element.