The Most Important Thing I Can Give My Kids

As parents, we want the best for our kids so we shower them with toys and trips and dinners out.  As a child I had ample in the way of material things but that is not what I remember when I think back.  What I do remember is that I always knew how very much I was loved and accepted by my immediate family.  That love was wrapped around me permanently, always there, always keeping my heart safe.

The world is full of 11 year old girls who decide one day that they will stop speaking to you just because. But in the grand scheme of things, their pointless betrayal didn't matter because wrapped around me like a cloak, forever reminding me that I was loved, was that security provided to me by my family.　 And when I exited the bus after being ignored for the duration of the school day and bus ride home (what kind of karma is that they were also on the same bus route as me?) by those who I thought were my friends, there was my mom, waiting to envelope me in that love and security.

Instead of waiting until I was again worthy enough for these friends, I gave up on them and found new ones. I credit the fact that I knew I deserved　more for the strength to do that. My family showed me that I was worthy, that I deserved to be treated with the same kindness and respect that I was taught to treat others with.

As a young adult (barely), this same cloak of love and self worth gave me the courage to end my　first romantic relationship　when I  recognized that I deserved better.　Because no matter how hard it was to end it, I deserved more. I was right, because no less than a year later, I met the love of my life, my husband, who treated me, from day one, in the manner that I always hoped my first boyfriend would.　

To me, this gift of love and security equates directly into self worth. What if I had not realized that I was worthy despite the fact that the behavior of those friends and boyfriend made me feel otherwise?　Where would that have left me?　Vulnerable to all kinds of horrid treatment by people who were likely lacking this very　security I am referring to. To me, vulnerability is what opens kids up to all kinds of risks, those of　which I managed to avoid fully.

This is what I remember from my childhood, adolescence and young adulthood　and consequently, this is what I strive to provide to my children. There really　isn’t anything you can buy for them that could be more valuable.

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Original post to Canada Moms Blog. Kami also writes at Kami's Khlopchyk.