Sign Me Up! School and Volunteerism

My daughter started school this year, and as a mother, this is a whole new ballgame. Where we live, Jr. Kindergarten is ½ day, everyday, so my daughter is out the door by 8:40 am, five mornings a week.

Our kids were never in daycare, so just getting my daughter out the door at a set time every morning sometimes feels like a Herculean effort – one that begins the night before, as I lay out clothes and pack healthy, sugar-free, nut-free, mess-free snacks (Labels! Don’t forget to label everything! Thank goodness for Mabel.) into her little owl backpack.

As a mother, having a school-aged child means staying on top of special pizza days and scientist days and gymnastics days and music days and dance days and holidays and P.A. days and birthdays, and all the little forms and slips and notes and instructions that go along with so many special days that I am left in a daze.

But as a working mother, I realize that all that stuff – all that administrative, organizational stuff – is actually the easy part. The easy part is integrating my daughter into the school system and ensuring that she gets the most out of her experience. The easy part is making sure that she becomes a member of the school community and thoroughly enjoys the little world she will inhabit for the next 7 years. The easy part is making sure she knows what’s going on.

The hard part is making sure that I do.

When I went back to work after my second child, I changed the hours I was out so that I could be home earlier in the day, but this means that I also leave earlier in the day. Which means that my husband does the school drop-off, and our nanny does the lunchtime pick up. Which means that I am rarely in the schoolyard, and if you know anything about how a school community works, you know that missing schoolyard time means missing out on all the important news.

It didn’t take long for me to be uncomfortable with this dynamic – to have no clue what my SAHM friends were talking about when the subject of the ins-and-outs of our school came up. I hated feeling like a working mother.

So I did what any guilt-addled keen mom would do, and I joined our Home and School Association. Granted, I’ve only been to one general meeting so far due to scheduling, but I immediately felt much more in the loop. All of a sudden, and like magic, I knew how the flood occurred over the winter break! I knew why the playground revitalization committee picked wood chips over sand! I knew that my school is just as generous and well appointed as the school a few blocks west of us that secretly we are all jealous of! I knew what the schoolyard, stay-at-home moms knew!

And now I’m also getting almost weekly requests from the HSA to help out with various fund-raising and student or teacher activities, and it’s making me feel very included indeed.

Can I help set up the winter fair? Sure! Honoured to be asked. Do I have anything to contribute to the hockey-themed basket for the silent auction? Ok! It’s a pleasure to chip in. Can I bake something for the bake sale? How do cupcakes sound?! Can I cook something for the staff appreciation potluck? Can I help out with scientist in the school? Can I make a few phone calls? Can I edit this letter? Can I man this booth and sign this petition and sell these tickets and and and and!

And don’t they know that I am a WORKING MOTHER! Who has time for this?! When, in the two hours I have each night to watch TV and tweet prepare for the next day am I supposed to get all this volunteer stuff done? I guess I’ll just make some bloody quinoa salad for the potluck in between bath time and bedtime. Or bake 4-dozen effing cupcakes while waiting for the laundry to dry. Am I allowed to sleep? Nope! Not yet! First I have to make 5 phone calls to rearrange our plans for the weekend because I have to be in the gym to help set up the winter carnival at 8am on Saturday!

Seriously, what have I gotten myself into? I wanted a little bit of knowledge; to feel a little more in the loop, not to feel like I just got another job. But what am I supposed to do now? Please, somebody stop me before I volunteer again, because I don’t think I have the energy for another 7 years of - -

What’s that?

You say a position on the executive board of the HSA just opened up? You think I’d be perfect for it? Hmm…. this would mean an inside track to insider information. This would mean that I might actually get to delegate a little? Sure, sure a few more meetings a year, but what’s a night or two for the benefit of the school?

Well, sign me up. What are a few more hours for the good of the school? Besides, I’m beginning to find that all these grey hairs suit me just fine.

This is an original post for Canada Moms Blog. Karen also writes at The Kids Are Alright.