Manners issue: Do people just stop by your house, without phoning first?

I have this friend whose life is such that there's a very narrow window of time when we get a chance to chat on the phone or visit.  Quite frequently we have had plans to talk or visit and people have just stopped by her place unannounced.  People would even stop by her house and come upstairs to suddenly appear in her bedroom.

I had no idea until today that I think this is weird.  Well, the bedroom thing is completely bizarre, and that's the only sensible opinion to have about that, period.  I mean the other stuff.  Until today I had no opinion whatsoever about whether or not it's awesome, or rude, or kind of weird, or what, to just show up unannounced at someone's house and expect to be entertained.

I would need to be very close friends with someone to feel like I could just stop by unannounced whenever I want.  Or if they were people who said, "Stop by any time. Really, you don't need to call first."  I think that kind of open-door policy is welcoming and lovely, when people choose it for their home but I've rarely heard anyone communicate this sort of sentiment.  If I was stopping by with no intentions of coming in and I was say, bringing cookies, that would be different.  I would feel comfortable visiting anyone unannounced to bestow cookies upon them.  But I even knew someone who would get very annoyed if I did that.

Even with such an intention, people still phone me first.  People actually phone to ask if it's okay if they bring treats.  (Answer: Yes. Always yes.  Bring supper too, while you're at it.  We like Indian.)  I suppose a part of the reason is to make sure you'll be home.  But I like to think that they're also concerned that they might be interrupting something.

Now, I would actually like it if people stopped by spontaneously more often.  But only certain people.  In fact, when I really think about it, there are very few people I'm comfortable having over whether or not I'm wearing a bra, whether or not there's clean floor to walk upon, whether or not I had other plans, and I feel like my home is my haven where I shouldn't have to keep the profiles of my nipples hidden in case someone decides to come by without invitation.

What about you?  Do you feel comfortable visiting people without phoning first?  Do you like it when people do that to you?  Or do you feel like that's a privilege that should be reserved for close family and your best friends?  (Or maybe everyone BUT close family?)  How often do people just stop by your house unannounced for a visit-- a few times a week? a few times a month?-- and what is their relation to you?

And what would you do if you had banal plans to say, talk to someone you love on the phone, and people you're presumably not as close with decided to pop over?  Would you entertain them because it took more effort for them to come over and the fact that they're live in person is more pressing and relevant than someone you could talk with on the phone and since you're closer with the phone-friend you know they'll be less affronted with being put off?  Or would you entertain your visitors briefly, then apologise that you have to leave to talk to your friend on the phone and expect them to take the hint, these people who live closer to you than your friend whom you only see occasionally, because your friend means more to you?

I honestly don't know what's more appropriate, objectively speaking, that's why I'm asking.

I'm curious to see if opinions on this manners issue will be very divided (as I suspect) or if there will be a near-unanimous opinion.  (Note: The first question is general about unannounced visitations, the second is more specific about what you would do if you had other plans.  Answer both questions, please! :-D)

This is an original Canada Moms Blog post.  Natasha also blogs at Becoming Something, tweets on Twitter, and is writing a book, which she wants you to know so you'll pester her about it now and then.