Beyond Gift-Giving: Hanukkah the Green

I'm finding dealing with things quite the parenting challenge lately. It's Hanukkah, and earlier this month I promised myself I wouldn't buy my kids anything at all until Hanukkah because I knew that if I did the whole beauty of getting and, indeed, of giving gifts would be lost. The Hanukkah gifts would be just more little trinkets for my kids to hoard, more random objects to attach themselves to in profound and confusing ways that only Freud could really understand.

And Hanukkah is such a beautiful holiday, so rich with meaning and hope. When we light the menorah, we are celebrating the victory of the Maccabees (a Jewish rebel army) over the Syrians in 156 BCE, and the rededication of the holy Temple in Jerusalem that followed. When the Maccabees rededicated the temple, they had only a small flask of olive oil with which to light the Temple's eternal flame -- enough to keep it lit for one day. But, miraculously, this small flask of oil lasted eight days, giving them enough time to press new olive oil, and keep the eternal flame alive, well, eternally.

As a "friend" reminded me the other day, there's a great modern message in this miracle: a green message. To think, one flask of oil could go such a long way! It's a reminder to us all that a little energy, a little water, any precious resource we use too much of, can go a long way.

So, as I went Hanukkah shopping this year, I thought about this message. I thought about how all this gift giving -- a gift a day (are you kidding me!?) -- contradicts the meaning of Hanukkah. For it becomes so much about excess and stuff and even waste, as we discard boxes, and wrapping paper and ribbons and cards and envelopes.... With all this wastage and excess, all the beautiful, hopeful messages of Hanukkah go down the drain like wasted water, out the window like wasted heat on these cold December days....

It's Day 2 of Hannukah as I write this. Among the grandparents, the aunts, uncles, in laws, and of course, my husband and me, my kids have gotten an insane amount of gifts. Instead of saying "thank you," my little ones are now asking, "Is there more gifts, Mama?" and their favourite phrase is fast becoming "I want." There have been too many red plastic gifts, too much wasted wrapping paper, and too much chocolate and candy (wasted, processed, "food"). It's all too much, too overwhelming, confusing, and, I think, unhealthy for my impressionable wee ones.

Our gifts need to support our children and their world. Period. For our children and their children to have sustainable lives on this planet, we need to stop cluttering them with waste and excess. We need to reduce, re-use, recycle -- not only empty containers, but also gifts and clothes. We need to teach our children that life isn't about accumulating stuff. At least, I do. Retail therapy should NOT apply at so young an age. Yet these are the roots of it. Right here. Imagine if our children could grow up to be self-sustaining human beings -- with a gloriously sustainable Earth to boot. Miracles do happen...!

And so, from Day 3 of Hanukkah onward, I vow to focus on the holiday itself -- to think! -- on letting go of what we don't need, on love, on miracles, on conserving, on being together and on learning that life is not about stuff. (And how badly do I myself need to learn and practice these lessons!)

Of course, this doesn't mean there can't be any gifts. Indeed, the other day, as I reached for the latest trinket I thought my four-year-old would want for Hanukkah, my hand suddenly shot back, and I found my eyes magnetically pulled to the eco-friendly section of the toy store: Plan Toys, Sprig, Boikido, and so many more wonderful eco-friendly toy companies springing out of the woodwork! There was so much to choose from, and the prices were not exorbitant. THESE are gifts I can feel good about giving: creative, handmade, eco-friendly, supportive and not destructive. There's a message behind them. They're not deliciously bright and shiny -- like the commercially grown, genetically-modified apples you see in the grocery store -- but they're safe, made with care for both our children and their future. They are true gifts that are as much a pleasure to give than to receive, for they are gifts that will keep on giving....

This is an original post for Canada Moms Blogs. You can find more from Haley-O at her blog Cheatymonkey.com.