Parenting: Yur Doin it Wrong

Time Online recently published a rather LONG article entitled 'The Backlash Against Overparenting.'  The article covers all aspects of our parenting mania and paranoia.  From our 'helicoptering' habits, to our fears about genetically faulty kids, to making sure their lives are tv free, lead free, BPA free, sugar free, etc, etc.

Seriously, it goes on and on and on.

This person had a LOT to say on the subject.

Which is a point in itself.  We do tend to go on and on.

This generation of kids has never been discussed more than any other.   Blogging seem to have started the ball rolling...especially with the development 'mommy blogging.'  We can't NOT stop talking about our kids!

Well, it is really our parenting we are talking about.  A lot.

We seem to be amazingly insecure in our parenting.   

For all our supposed narcissist tendencies, we are filled with doubt.

Parenting forums and blogging either feeds that insecurity or assuages it....take your pick.

For us who LOVE blogging and reading other parenting blogs, we feel that the internet was just the evolution in community.  We can't find and befriend our neighbours anymore, so we find and befriend strangers on the internet.   The internet community IS our village.

And I am okay with that.  I love the support and friendship I have found through my blog.

But that lovefest has really put our insecurities out there.

Mommy bloggers are seen all over the mainstream media having to explain themselves.  

Or just promote their new books.

We are slammed for posting photos and stories about our kids.

We are slammed for making money from our blogs.

We are slammed for our parenting skills or lack thereof.

Love and hate..it is all there on the interwebz.

I ain't famous, so I am happy with what cyberspace has wrought.   

I haven't bought a parenting book since all the mistakes I made with my first kid.  I tend to rely on surfing around and reading advice and ideas from other moms out there instead.

I don't think blogging has made me a better parent.

In fact, I really do wonder if we have ANY parenting skills these days at all. Does just talking about how much we suck help?  Is our navel gazing angst making us better than our parents? And this thought goes waaaaay back before the internet, but the internet has given us many platforms to discuss it.  It is 'feminism.'  

Women wanted to be equal.  To have respect.  At home and in the workplace.  

They fought for this.   Burned bras.

We promised that our daughters would be tough.  And could do anything that they wanted to.

That, nowadays, seems to include handing out blow jobs, like we, back in days of yore, allowed hands UNDER the sweater instead of on.

Seriously people, WTF!?

The birth control's 'sexual freedom' for women concept seems to have totally gone of the rails these days.

Instead of being in control of our vagina's, our teens (and younger) seem more than happy to dole them out to the highest bidder.

Oral sex isn't considered SEX!  

Men now must bow down in AWE of the world that teen boys are currently existing in.

The writers of Fast Times at Ridgemont High couldn't even IMAGINE the sexuality that is bursting out of the school lockers.

And hence, that when things like this happen, we really shouldn't be horrified.  Sad yes, horrified..not so much.

I just keep thinking....what the hell are we doing wrong?   I can't blame tv or movies.   The media didn't do this.  Didn't HURT it....but again...WE are the parents.  WE are the one's who are supposed to teach morals and ethics and pride and strength.....but instead we have the mess that our teenagers lives seem to be.

Are the bashers correct then?  Has our narcissism ruined our kids?  Are we too self absorbed to notice how screwed up our kids are? 

Do helicoptering parents not notice their daughter is a slut?

How do we miss this shit?

Again, I don't blame the media or my blogging for my generations parental failures.  Though my mom blames my blogging for state of my house, and I suppose I can't really argue with her...except say replace blogging with scrapbooking, knitting, book club,  and I suppose er ..WORK perhaps?

We have always had lots on our plate to distract us from our progeny.

So is society just more narcissist than before?  Do we spend to much time plugged into our iPods to notice the decay in morality?

Is it lack of religion?    Are the Right ..right?

I really do worry about what my son and daughters will face in their near future.

They already seem a weird mix of innocence, naivety and knowing WAY too dam much at such an early age.

Caitlyn told me she wanted to be a pole dancer when she grew up.  Where does she get this?  Well being that the news and television is FILLED with images and stories about people doing this activity for 'fun' - she doesn't understand the negative connotations.

But will she down the road?

And I can't even blame tv and my apparent lack of policing of its content on this...I watched kids in her school using the playground equipment to show each other their 'pole' moves.   

So enough navel gazing I say. Blog away if you like ( I don't plan on quitting), but take ownership of what exactly the sort of morality and ethics that are being instilled in your children.

Talk about sex.  Talk about sexuality.   Talk about the feelings behind the acts.

Teach our genders about respect.   

Teach our children that rape isn't something to watch and text about.

Teach our children to care about themselves and others...THAT is the message that seems to be slipping away.

----

Original Canada Moms Blog post, Kerry also writes about her life,  and her kids at Crunchy Carpets. She also posts at Wet Coast Women.