No One Said Kindergarten Would Be Easy

My baby has been in Kindergarten a grand total of fourteen days and we've already settled into a routine.  The routine involves the normal things you might expect, breakfast, getting dressed, brushing teeth and packing a snack before he happily goes off to school.  It also involves me wondering what the day will bring.  Will today be the day?

He is my second son and is very unlike his brother in numerous ways.  On the other hand they have both inherited from me, some of the very traits I would have banned from being passed on, if, you know, God had asked me.  He didn't.  As such, they both have inherited my shyness.  It is beyond difficult to watch them struggle with the very same things I struggled with.  Partly because I understand but partly because I have come out the other side.  If only I could impart the knowledge that I have to them without the painful lessons I had to endure (mostly out of my own stubbornness).

My older son grew out of his extreme shyness around the age of four.  At that time he "came out of his shell" and let the world see his funny, thoughtful, goofy personality instead of saving it all for those he loved best.  I will never forget the day his preschool teacher told me she had to tell him to use his inside voice.  It made me proud.  My shy, introverted boy had to be told to be quieter.  My heart swelled because I knew he would be okay.

My younger son did not follow in his brother's footsteps at age four.  His preschool teacher had to start all over at the beginning of his second year of preschool earning his trust so that he would speak to her.  Did I mention that he had the same wonderful, amazing teacher both years?  My kids make you work for it, let me tell you.  And when we returned from a few days absence (we had to go to Hawaii, I mean have you ever lived through a Saskatchewan winter?) and she was ill, he again wouldn't talk to her for a few weeks.

I knew this would be an issue when he started Kindergarten this fall.  I think my first clue was probably that he mentioned frequently throughout the summer that he would try really hard to talk to his teacher but he just wasn't sure if he could.  I mean, talk about making a mountain out of a mole hill?  Apparently he also inherited my ability to be one's own worst enemy.

I mentioned this to his teacher on the form where it asks if there is anything she should know about my child.  About six days in she asks me if he is enjoying school because he sure doesn't say much while he's there.  I said I wasn't surprised.  I didn't say, didn't you read the form because that wouldn't have been nice, now would it?

And actually he had told me he would talk to her when, and only when, she asked him a direct question.  From my perspective this was great.  I am fairly certain that was about the extent of my oration in Kindergarten too.  That and hiding behind the kid in front of me doing my best impression of a wall flower (If I had a dollar for every time I  was described that way).

For the most part this doesn't worry me to a great extent.  I know he'll come around slowly, on his own terms as he gets comfortable in this new situation.  What does worry me, however, is that he has yet to interact with another child.  I remember all too well feeling left out and not having the courage to do what it took to get myself included.  Somehow (small miracles do happen) I made it through several moves that involved switching schools.  Try being the new kid in a small town school at the beginning of grade eleven, now there's an awkward situation when you have the social skills of a gnat.

He's such a great little person, I just hope he gets the courage to shine beyond the comfort of his immediate family.  And maybe, just maybe, a small miracle that involves the imparting of my knowledge and experience on him or is that just asking for too much?

Original post to Canada Moms Blog.  Kami also bemoans her lack of social skills at Kami's Khlopchyk.