Just Like Mom

Everyone catches themselves sounding or acting a way that they thought they never would, right? Behaving in some way that when someone acted that way towards them, they swore they would never do that when faced with the same situation.... right?

Good, because it's been happening to me a lot lately and it's driving me nuts.

So how and who am I acting like that is driving me so insane?

Like a mom. More specifically mine.

Now let me state for the record that I really REALLY love my Mom. She is a great woman who did her best raising us but she was a stickler for certain things -- like cleaning and noise levels -- and it almost drove me insane as a child. I swore each time she freaked over a mess or music that I would never be that way. EVER. Stop laughing please.

Just typing that last paragraph instantly brought me back to how she used to throw up her arms in despair upon walking into the room my brother and I had just turned into an epic Western tale. A set made for a cowboy adventure complete with mountains made of pillows and canyons constructed with precision-draped throw blankets. It was always obvious to me that these throw blankets were sorely underused since they always were folded and thrown just so over the back of our formal living room couch. Never to be touched. Ever. Why not use them for canyons? I would ask. But my Mother disagreed. It was what my Mother called "accessorizing for effect". Effect of what I always wondered? To give the impression that were always prepared in case a sudden cold front entered the shrine otherwise known as The Formal Living Room? Who knew if it ever happened, we weren't supposed to play in there or even go in there until we turned thirty or learned to keep our hands clean -- which ever happened first.

So like many other children who went on to became parents, I swore I'd never say things like that. I'd be supportive of my child's creativity and musical tastes even if it meant room destruction or damaged hearing. Heck, I'd encourage them.

Well, let's just say it didn't work out that way. I may not have a formal living room or formal any thing for that matter but I sure do know how to throw up my arms in disgust. And if I have to hear "I like to move it, move it" one more time, I will give myself a lobotomy with a penguin statue.

My almost four year old is a spreader and collector who is a borderline contender for Hoarders on A&E. She also loves to take out all her toys everyday and spread them into every space she can find in this small apartment. And she loves to hoard what I kindly term "garbage". Mostly it consists of packaging, broken pencils, and most recently, a large, wet ball of string... wrapped with tiny pieces of string.

I've tried cutting down her toys. I've tried rotating her toys out of and into storage on a regular basis. I've got cubes and cubbies and places for her to store her things. I've done the toy cull. And even when I've limited her to just her doll house and puzzles, she will make darn sure that each of those puzzle pieces have fair representation around our household. Then she start plucking treasures from the blue box.

That's when I catch myself throwing my arms up in the air, making proclamations about how "This place is a STY", "I don't want to live in a mess", and my personal childhood favourite "I am NOT a maid". All delivered with a huge helping of guilt and disgust that is bound to render her healthy preschooler ears into selectively deaf teenage hearing apparatus within the next year.

So I've come up with a plan. It requires strict behaviour modification which may result in some painful episodes but that is to be expected. So I'd better ready myself considering I'm doing the bulk of the modifications. I'm going to chill the f**k out and pick my battles. Clean up will happen before guests or bed time not just when I hate to walk by her room. Icky sticky messes won't be tolerated but all other non-purulent decorating will be tolerated. Favorite songs can be played as long as it does not exceed three replays -- I need to keep my sanity -- plus every so often I'd like to pick a song. I will try to stop throwing my arms up in the air and using that shrill tone -- unless provoked.

I'm not sure how realistic this plan is but it sure as heck beats feeling I've let my six year old self down and given into the man. Wish me luck. Sharing chill out technique are greatly appreciated.

Original post to Canada Moms Blog. Katie can also be found sorting through her personal insanity at motherbumper.

image source: flickr tuxstorm