Smooth Salesman Equals No Sale

There is a reason I don’t work in retail, especially when there is commission involved.  First and foremost, I don’t have the ability to talk out my ass.  Now don’t get me wrong, many salespeople are wonderful and full of helpful advice, and then there is the other kind.  Like the guy we had the pleasure of dealing with at the music store the other day that used a fast food analogy when discussing the purchase of a keyboard.

Yes, that’s right folks; apparently buying the keyboard without the stand is like buying a hamburger without the bun.  And he didn’t stop there, oh no, the dude was on a roll; he went on to tell me that the keyboard without the pedal was like getting the burger without fries.

This fantastic sales pitch for an 8 year old beginning the Music for Young Children program .  I wish I were kidding.

I would also like to mention, for effect of course, that I had already explained the circumstances of our situation, 8 year old boy, beginner, simple program that requires 61 keys (a full piano has 84 or so keys) and the option to attach a pedal in the future.

The guy oozed smooth.  The first thing I said was that we were interested in used keyboards.  So where does he take me, to the shiny new $800 plus full size keyboards, of course.  Great I say, we don’t really need these ones that most closely mimic a piano, a cheaper version, you know, since we have no idea, yet, if he will stick with this. 

Cue the $429 version, which he shows me, yet again, is very unlike striking a real piano (do you see me, NOT caring?).

Before I know it he’s pricing out the thing, brand new.  Um, great I say, while trying not choke audibly when he tells me the price of the $429 keyboard is actually $600 before  tax, on account of the extra fries, bun, drink and gravy, do you have anything USED?

*random typing on inventory computer*

“Oh gee, you know these things just don’t really depreciate, the $800 new one I showed you, we have it used for $775.” 

(Here’s me, again, trying with all my might to not audibly choke and say out loud, are you for real?)

How much do you want to bet the sucker who sold the thing back to them got an entirely different song and dance on the depreciation?  I am thinking the odds are in your favour there since a local on-line site has several used keyboards (not the kind we want) for far more reasonable prices.

Before I knew it, the brand new $600 full meal deal is brought to me and the dude is writing up the sale.

Anyone remember the part of this story where I said, sure we’ll take it, what a deal?

Yeah, me either.

We walked out and won’t be back.  I guess smoothness like that just rubs my nap the wrong way.

Original post to Canada Moms Blog.  Kami also blogs at Kami's Khlopchyk when trying not to fall prey to sharp sales pitches.