Is Mom ALWAYS #1?

In our house it seems so.

This despite the fact that my husband has worked from home for almost their entire lives.

He does EVERYTHING that I do with them.   Well, almost..but you get the idea.

So we both figure that if I go upstairs to attempt a nap, the kids will be able to figure out to ask dad for whatever their need of the moment is.

Not so.

Yesterday, as I tried to cat nap, I could sense a presence behind me.  I could hear it breathing.

I tried to ignore the sighs and shuffling sounds...but I could see the presence would not be ignored.

"Yes, Caitlyn?"

"My dolly's dress needs fixed"

.....

"Um, Caity, does it look like I feel like fixing your dolly's dress at this moment? Can't you ask dad?"

.....

"Um, Where IS dad?"

"Did you check the office????"

"Oh"

Or they come rushing in from playing outside...run into the 'office' (he actually shares his workspace with the laundry and kitty litter), asks DAD where mom is and then go hassle me for something HE could have EASILY taken care off.  Like a drink...he is 5 feet from the kitchen.

This does not bode well for dealing with a newborn in a week or so.

I find this dynamic fascinating.  

I am married to one of the most hands on dads I know.   He is around all the time.  He is engaged and a full on part of their lives.

And they still figure mom knows best.

Is this just in our house?  Is it just because I happen to exude an air of superiority or competence over my husband...that the kids just bow to me?

Hah!

Do Stay At Home Dads deal with this?

I read many a dad blog....these are all cool guys who are as competent at the parent job as any mom. Are they being second guessed constantly by their progeny? Do their kids wait to deal with the big issues in their lives when mom comes home?

Is the parenting equal in their children's eyes?

The interwebz are always full of discussions about whether you need a father figure in a child's life or if  two parents are better than one etc etc....

Or just what IS a father figure?  What is dad?

What is a dad to a kid?  What is the difference between mom and dad?  Apart from the more 'squishy' parts I am purported to have according to my short sources.

My dad was usually the more 'fun' one....mom the one who doled out the thin lips and scathing looks.

His dad was the one at work all the time..the 'wait till your dad gets home' type.

Here it is more 50/50 with that as both of us try to tag team the other parent who is more at the end of their rope than the other.

I figure that makes us equally scary....or not.  I think mostly not.

And that they second guess my poor husband who is trying really hard to make sure I get some kid free time just now.

The gray hairs of stress and stupefaction are sprouting like crazy these days.

Original Canada Moms Blog post, Kerry writes about life at the House of Crunch at Crunchy Carpets.