When Do You Intervene?

I have three children, the oldest of which is six years old. He is nearing the end of Grade One (or First Grade, for our American friends) and has generally had a positive experience.

Graham was born on December 29th and I have had many people suggest that I may want to hold him back a year because he is a December baby, and even worse, he is a BOY. The first such conversation occurred when I was PREGNANT. Yes, really.

Being the defensive person that I am I always thanked those who gave their (unsolicited) advice but told them that we would assess his school-readiness at the end of his pre-school experience. Graham is a smart kid, and even more social than his overly-social mother. He was more than ready to start Kindergarten when he did.

I can state the truth in that while he was intellectually ready for Kindergarten, there were moments where I wondered if he was developmentally ready. One of his closest friends is a February baby, and at the age of four/five, ten months is close to a lifetime.

Now that he is in Grade One, the age gap seems to shrink all of the time. He is excelling at his school work (And does word and math problems on the weekend FOR FUN. He is SO MY CHILD.) His report cards tell us that he is doing well intellectually, developmentally and socially. All is good.

Except that sometimes it is not good. There have been a few instances since he has started school where his feeling have been hurt by fellow classmates. The Momma Bear in me wants to OPEN UP A CAN OF WHOOP-ASS (Retro reference there), but the adult in me knows that would not solve anything.

When dealing with issues occurring between pre-schoolers, the logical thing is to step in to every situation. You talk to all of the parties involved, make everyone say sorry, and move along your merry way.

As my kids get older, I will no longer be able to step in and make it all better. I will have to stand on the sidelines and let them fight their own battles. I foresee a lot of hand-wringing and private tears shed as my children work through the heart-hurts inflicted by their peers.

My only dilemma is knowing when I need to step back and when I need to step in.

Original Canada Moms Blog Post. Angella Dykstra also writes at her personal site Dutch Blitz when she is not spewing her words elsewhere on the Internet (See: Twitter).