Violence and your kids, where do you draw the line?

My husband loved Star Wars as a kid so when the movies were re-released in the 1990’s  he received the trilogy set, in VHS.  Actually he received two sets, one is still in the cellophane (I kid you not) because it might be worth something some day (still not kidding).  Our boys, almost 8 and 5, had seen the videos on the shelf and had been asking repeatedly to watch them.  A few weeks back, we instituted Friday night movie night and started with Episode I.

First of all, I was shocked to actually find I was enjoying the story lines but secondly, a little surprised by the violence.  I shouldn’t have been, I knew that there were light sabers and slaying but in my naïveté, I thought the slaying consisted mostly of robots or droids as they are referred to in the movies.  When we got to the scene where Anakin Skywalker loses a good portion of his body to subsequently become Darth Vader in Episode III, I asked my husband to fast forward. It was pretty graphic, considering my 8 and 5 year olds were watching it with us. 

You see, when I was 8, we went to E.T.  What I remember about it is that I had to pee so bad after that I literally remember getting home and running to the bathroom.  Relief.  But I also remember that I had a lot of trouble falling asleep for a few nights after.  For whatever reason, the idea of an alien coming to live among us, friendly or not, was unsettling for my childhood mind.

So far, neither one of them has had any fears erupt from watching these movies (so we have concluded they don’t take after me), though there is a lot of light saber sparring going on.  However, I do worry that watching violent movies and television shows is a bad influence.  But I am also a realist in that I think that children are intelligent and can distinguish what is real from what is created for movies.

But the question becomes, where do we draw the line as parents?   They are boys.  They are interested in the superhero type movies which always contain some level of violence.  Believe me; I did not foster this interest at all.  I was of those who would never allow any kind of toy gun in my house.  And we don’t have any.  But they don’t need an actual toy to use their imaginations

I don’t want to censor every thing they watch because I don’t believe in that.  I know I can’t keep my kids in a bubble.  I have seen enough in this world to know that isn’t the answer.  This stuff is out there, they will see it whether I allow them to or not.  I guess the key is to only allow what they can handle for their age and accompany it with dialogue about what is real and what is fantasy.

That said, if I have my way, they need never set their eyes on Hannibal Lecter.  There is some fantasy that need not be shared if you ask me.

Original post to Canada Moms Blog.  Kami also talks about her failings a mother, among other things at Kami's Khlopchyk