Tie Your Tubes, Save The World

So if you`ve ever doubted that Canada is home to some world-class academic research, you can put your doubts to rest: a scientist at the University of Victoria has figured out a solution to global warming. The secret, apparently, is this: STOP HAVING SEX.

Okay, maybe not all sex - just reproductive sex. You know, the fun kind. I know! Who knew that it was going to be that easy?

So, yeah: no sex without birth control is the key to saving the world from environmental degradation, according to Hans Tammermagi, adjunct professor in the School of Environmental Studies at the University of Victoria. "We can make changes (like turning down the thermostat and using public transit), but they don't mean a thing if our population keeps growing," he said.

Hey, it`s science!

But here`s the thing - and it`s a point that I belaboured in a post over at BlogHer the other day - this kind of science is just a little disturbing. Because, seriously, how do we control the global population, exactly? One-child laws, like in China, with all of the difficulties (gender selective abortion, infanticide) that attend such laws? Forced sterilization? So, yeah: overpopulation may be a pressing problem - and I certainly don`t want to suggest that it`s not - but pressing for people to stop having babies seems to me to be a problematic cause, and not a little bit absurd coming from a man who has two children already (ònly two`! Um, okay!)

Look, as I`ve said whenever I`ve been prompted to comment on the absurd agenda of the childfree movement or on the wild prescriptions of misguided environmentalists, if we`re looking to limit the global population, why start with children? Aren`t children, you know, small? I`ll bet that both of Hans Tammermagi`s kids combined have a much smaller eco-footprint than Hans himself. Hell, I`ll bet that his kids and my kids and your kids combined have a smaller footprint than Hans (or me, or you), and that`s even taking into consideration the fact that Hans, being a good West Coast environmentalist, probably rides a bike to work, if only because Hans probably also drives around Victora quite a bit and occasionally takes the ferry over to the mainland and sometimes flies across the continent, or even an ocean or two, to attend conferences. You know, on environmentalism. So isn`t the problem really Hans?

I know, I know: children are only small for a while, and then they grow up to be carbon-spewing monsters, but isn`t that actually the point that childfree advocates and enviro-pundits like Hans Tammermagi overlook? Children aren`t the problem: grown-ups are the problem. So, we can cut back on babies all we want, but it probably won`t make a lick of difference while we`re all still, you know, not turning back the thermostat and refusing to take public transit and flying around the world attending conferences on environmentalism.

Logan`s Run is starting to make a little bit of sense. You have to subtract for Farrah Fawcett, but still. Renew!

This is an original post to Canada Moms Blog. Catherine Connors blogs at Her Bad Mother, where she tries to convince anyone who will listen that bad is, indeed, the new good.