It's Just Time

I recently read a blog post about what our kids want.  It wasn’t a major revelation, more like a kick in the butt, my face is burning because I know she is talking right to me, kind of a thing.  She wasn’t but guilt sure was.  I am like a lot of mothers, trying to balance a career with being an at home Mommy.  Most of the time the balancing act works but every year there is a couple of months where I drop the ball.  The kid’s ball that is.

I don’t mean to.  I always think, I can handle this.  I can take on this big project and still keep up with my boys.  But the truth of it is that I don't.  And if it wasn’t for my amazing husband, the house would sink like the Titanic, fast and in a blaze of glory.  But the biggest thing that suffers is time.  Time spent with my boys.  That is one thing my husband can’t do for me, though I know he would try if he could.

My kids don’t usually lust after the last toy they saw in a commercial.  They might mention it once or twice and when Christmas and their birthday’s roll around they let us know what’s on their wish lists.   But most of the time, they are pretty content with what they have. Okay, okay, so they complain infrequently there is nothing to do, I can’t lie.  We do try not to constantly buy them new things.  We live in a small house, there simply isn’t room and I loathe clutter.  Plus the grandparents do a pretty good job of keeping up with that, they don’t need our help.

The thing is that that stuff doesn’t make them any happier than it does us.  It’s just stuff.  It is instant gratification that lasts less time that it took to pick it up in the store and pay for it.  What my kids want, what they need, more than anything, is quality time with me (and their dad too of course).  And I forget this, even when I am not busy with my job.  I don’t really know how I can forget when they are right there, asking me to do this or that or read this story or that one.  Why do my answers of, “I can’t, I have work to do” or alternatively, “I can’t, I have to [insert domestic duty of choice here]” suffice?  Why is that good enough?

The reality is that it’s not.  It’s not good enough and this was my swift kick in the keester.

Today, we pulled out the Chirp and ChickaDEE magazines and we did the crafts they have been asking to do for weeks.  Then we made homemade buns together.  And then I remembered something really important.

These two boys of mine are so much fun.  I love spending time with them.  I am going to tie a string around my finger so I don’t forget that when I get caught up in my work or housework.  Because the biggest reason why I work at home is so I can be with them.  But sometimes, I need a not so subtle reminder of that.

Original post to Canada Moms Blog .  Kami also talks about her failings a mother, among other things at Kami's Khlopchyk