vegetarian mama, omnivorian family: torture-by-tempeh or sausage party?

I am a vegetarian. Not to save the animals, and not to save my body, although both of those pursuits are perfectly good reasons to forgo a Halifax donair. I just happen to like a peaceful plate, as well as one that doesn’t have every orifice emitting the funk of the underworld for a week.

But I’m also a Maritimer, and tasked with feeding two boys and one man who would dance naked with their arms upturned and mouths open if the sky rained sausages. Which means that I am 1) bound by provincial legislation to crush lobsters with my bare hands and suck the seawater out of their furry wee legs regardless of how I feel about meat; and 2) forever doomed to cook two separate dinners nightly.

(I know, I know. Sucking lobster legs is not veggie-kosher but lobsters are nasty f*ckers. Lobsters are glorified sea insects, bloodthirsty scrappers who unite to tear each others’ claws off every third Tuesday. Lobsters are the Klingons of the animal world. And besides—my birthright requires me to ingest as much seawater as humanly possible. It’s the law.)

All this—72% tongue-in-cheek—and yet I still say vegetarian and sport my standard-issue superhero cape with ‘Broccoliffic!’ glitter-glued across the back. Cause the only animals I eat are either 1) faceless buggers (emergency scallops); or 2) nasty f*ckers (crocodile, annual lobster, the neighbour’s cat.)

(Kidding. I only ate crocodile once, and only managed a chunk out of the neighbour’s cat, Snookums ‘Wiggly Bugger’ Jones.)

One question for each camp. Vegetarians—how do you manage keeping both you and your omnivorian household happy when your cooking mojo already suffers the effects of parenthood? If you’ve managed to bring your spouse and/or children on board, could you please come to my house so that I can stare at you in mystified admiration?

Joyful sausage frolickers—what are your priorities when it comes to food? How does family life or finances or time conspire to get in the way of your convictions?

photo by sweetsalty kate

This is an original Canada Moms Blog post. Kate also blogs at sweet | salty.